written and directed by Daphna Levin
Screenplay reconstructed by Richard Raskin
NB. The lines dialogue in this reconstructed screenplay are transcribed
directly from Madeleine Ali's translation in the English subtitles.
Scene 1: ZEV's living room
On a TV screen we see a quiz show host making his entrance:
ANNOUNCER (on TV): "The Price is Right, with Shuki Chic!"
SHUKI (on TV): Thank you and welcome to...
AUDIENCE (on TV): The Price is Right.
A cuddly dog is on the sofa before the TV set.
SHUKI: What costs more? Johnson's Dental Floss or Q-Tip Swabs?
ZEV(sitting down on the sofa, with a plate of food for himself and a bowl of
food for the dog): Q-Tips 7.36 shekels. Dental Floss 6.50. Q-Tips.
CONTESTANT (on TV): Q-Tips.
SHUKI: That's right!
ZEV pats his dog.
SHUKI: Tough question: What's the bus fare from Aviv Hills to Aviv
ZEV, eating a piece of cucumber, shakes his head "no".
SHUKI: No, I'm sorry, 3.30. Give him a hand.
ZEV smiles to his dog.
Scene 2: Supermarket
ZEV, wearing a yellow smock, is crouching at a low shelf, putting
price labels on packages of food.
WOMAN CLERK: Zevic, how much is Nescafe coffee?
ZEV: Regular 17.95, Decaf 20.90.
LOUDSPEAKER: Attention shoppers! Cleo products are reduced by 30%.
ZEV gets up, carrying a carton, and walks to another aisle, where ZARCHIT,
also wearing a yellow smock and carrying packages of food, crashes into him,
dropping her packages. As he bends down to pick them up, she also bends,
banging her head into his. They straighten up, holding their heads.
ZED: Sorry. Are you O.K.?
ZED: Are you sure?
LOUDSPEAKER: Two tickets for "The Price is Right" with a purchase over 200
ZARCHIT walks away, turning back to look at ZEV, and walks into a display,
knocking the packages of food down, and falling face down on top of them. ZEV,
seeing this, smiles.
CHECK-OUT CLERK (standing next to a customer-a heavy woman with pink
plastic curlers in her hair): Zevic, Kleenex Toilet Paper?
CLERK (to customer, who is now eating a candy bar): Who needs a computer, eh?
CUSTOMER: It's not on sale?
LOUDSPEAKER: No sale on Kleenex Toilet Paper.
Scene 3: Outside the supermarket
Zev and ZARCHIT are finished with work and on their way home.
ZEV: Nice evening, huh?
ZARCHIT (startled, dropping her bag): Yes.
ZEV: Well... see you tomorrow.
ZARCHIT (placing her bag on her bike): Yes.
ZEV: Quite a bang on the head, huh?
ZARCHIT: Yes... No, it doesn't hurt. (Turning awkwardly to ZEV) Does yours?
ZEV: No. Sorry.
ZARCHIT: Me too.
ZEV: What it hurts?
ZARCHIT: No. I meant I'm sorry too...
ZEV: Nonsense. It doesn't hurt.
ZARCHIT (seeing PAULY PRINCE, wearing a light blue cowboy hat and matching
jacket, climb into a yellow convertible with a pretty girl): That's the guy who
won the car on "The Price is Right." This is the price car.
ZEV: We're neighbors.
ZARCHIT: Really? He's so famous. (PAULY raises the car's headlights which open
like eyes, and drives away.) Good night. (ZARCHIT exits out of frame to our
left, ZEV watching her walk away. She then reappears, gets her bicycle, and
exits again.) Good night.
ZEV: Good night.
Scene 4: ZEV's living room
The TV is on as ZEV, seated on the sofa with his dog beside him,
reads a newspaper.
SHUKI: O.K. Hands on the buzzer... The price of Assuta Bandaids?
ZEV (folding the newspaper and getting up): 17.50.
SHUKI: Right again.
ZEV stands before a mirror, trying to smile the way PAULY PRINCE does in a
photo of him on the front page of the newspaper, with the headline: PAULY
PRINCE, winner on "The Price is Right": "I can't keep the women away."
Scene 5: ZEV's bedroom
ZEV is asleep with his dog beside him in bed. He dreams of a
newspaper with his own picture on the front page, with the headline: "I don't
even have a driver's license."
Scene 6: The hall of ZEV's apartment house
ZEV leaves his apartment, with his cuddly dog on the leash, and
removes a letter from the mail box. At the sound of a dog barking, he then
turns to see PAULY PRINCE, with tinsel glittering on his cowboy hat and the
shoulders of his matching jacket. PAULY, who is also wearing sun glasses and a
red shirt with white dots, has his own dog on a leash: a growling bull dog. As
PAULY passes through the outer door, a group of women pounce on him, shouting
"PAULY, PAULY." ZEV looks on.
Scene 7: Supermarket
ZARCHIT is at her cash register, checking out a customer's goods. ZEV
is putting price labels on merchandise. They look at each other and smile.
LOUDSPEAKER: Elite Cake helps you bake. Buy some noodles and you could
ZARCHIT, slightly distracted, enters the price of a toilet bowl brush.
CUSTOMER (the heavy woman with curlers): What price did you just
ZARCHIT: 12 shekels.
CUSTOMER: But the price is 11.50. Trying to rip me off?
ZEV (to the customer): No. Toilet bowl brushes went up yesterday.
CUSTOMER (to ZEV, threateningly, backing him away from the check out area
): I know you. You know all the prices, huh? Computer, huh? Do you know
what I think? (His back is now against a shelf.)
CUSTOMER (after chewing loudly and for what seams an eternity on a candy bar):
You could be a star, you know. On the Shuky Chic Show.
ZARCHIT: "The Price is Right"?
Now an elaborate production number begins, with a number of characters
singing and dancing in the supermarket, with PAULY also singing in his car, and
SHUKI singing and dancing in the TV studio. The lyrics are as follows:
You could be a star |
On the Shuky ChicShow.
Prices are your thing
You are the king
Do not fear
Consumer of the year
You'd win a car, you know
Just go on the show.
A sports car that you'll love to race|
And women too
You'll be big news
At parties in town
You'll be no one's clown
One show buys fame
Everyonewill know your name
ZARCHIT who is bobbing her head to the beat of the music, suddenly notices
that the camera is on her and looks down in embarrassment.
Run like hell and think no more|
You can do it, that's for sure.
You the hero of our store.
Scene 8: Outside the supermarket
ZARCHIT: The brush... Sorry. I thought it was 12 shekels. I didn't know it was
11.50. That's never happened...
ZEV: It's okay. No one will know. Zarchit...
ZARCHIT: I know you lied for me.
ZEV: If I win on the show, could we celebrate? You know, you and me?
ZARCHIT: You'll probably have someone to go out with.
ZEV: With you.
ZARCHIT: If you don't have someone then...
ZEV: But I do.
ZARCHIT: Really? Who?
ZEV: You. You and me.
ZARCHIT (rushing away with her bike, exiting out of frame toward our
right): Good night. (She reappears, nervously turning the bike around.)
ZEV: Good night.
Scene 9: Zev's bedroom
ZEV is sleeping in his bed, the dog also asleep with its head on his
arm. In his dream, he and ZARCHIT are on a stage, dancing. He is wearing PAULY
PRINCE's outfit and is chewing gum while moving to the rhythm of the music.
ZARCHIT has on a green satin evening gown and rhinestone glasses frames. Behind
them, we can see a picture-postcard type sunset .
ZARCHIT (dancing as she speaks): You're my hero. You're famous. I
ZEV (waking from his dream, sitting up in bed): Me too.
A paper plane flies in through his window, landing on his bed. He puts on his
glasses, unfolds the paper and reads: "You're my hero. You're famous. I love
you." Someone knocks on his door, which he opens.
PRETTY GIRL (standing at the door, tears the paper from his hand): Sorry,
mistake. (She turns and puts the paper into the letter slot in PAULY's door,
which has a garland of blinking light bulbs around it.
Scene 10: Israel TV Network.
Outdoor establishing shot.
Scene 11: Inside TV studio
Preparations for the show are in progress. SHUKY is speaking to a
woman contestant, who is wearing a glittering, low-cut outfit.
SHUKY: I want a bit more excitement. (Eager to accommodate him, she jumps up
and down, screaming. He is taken aback by her eagerness.. She will continue
jumping and screaming throughout this little scene.)
ZEV: Mr. Chic?
SHUKY: Who are you?
ZEV: Zev Zornitzer.
SHUKY (turning to someone off camera): Change his name! (Grabbing
Zev's lapel in disgust.) You're wearing this? (Looking off camera in
another direction.) Wardrobe! (To Zev again.) What do you do? Never
mind. Dog groomer sounds exotic. (SHUKY slaps ZEV familiarly on the cheek and
exits. Zev feels his cheek.)
WOMAN CONTESTANT (after one last jump and scream, to Zev, to whom she holds
out her hand): Hi. (They shake hands.)
Scene 12: Inside the TV studio
The show begins.
ANNOUNCER: "The Price is Right, with Shuki Chic!"
SHUKI (making his entrance): Thank you and welcome to:
AUDIENCE: The Price is Right.
SHUKY: Let's meet our contestants. (To the WOMAN CONTESTANT.) What is your
WOMAN CONTESTANT: Revy Levy. I'm a veterinarian. But I want to be a beauty
(to ZEV): And you sir?
ZEV: Jackie Lapid, dog groomer.
SHUKY (pointing to a fake egg in an egg cup placed on the stand in front of
ZEV): That's the buzzer. (The audience giggles and ZEV cringes, sensitive to
the indirect insult.)
SHUKY (as we see a shot of ZEV's dog, watching television): Which costs more: a
3 system VCR or a mini-dishwasher?
ZEV (pushes the buzzer, as we see his colleagues at the supermarket watching
him on television): The mini-dishwasher.
SHUKY: Right! (We see the heavy customer, sitting on her toilet, watching
television.) What costs more: 2,000 Housewife Magazines (now we see
PAULY, bare-chested but with his hat, sunglasses and a lay of flowers around
his neck, watching television with two pretty girls beside him) or 2,000
ZEV: Diapers. (ZARCHIT is watching television in her apartment.)
SHUKY: Right. What a contestant! (Zev's dog, watching.)
SHUKY (after ZEV pushes the button): Right answer! (Buzzer.
Close-up of SHUKY's pretty score keeper, who gives the camera a fake
smile.) Correct! Right! (Buzzer.) Correct! (The heavy woman
watches, still seated on her toilet. We can now see that the walls of her
bathroom are lined with tall stacks of toilet paper.) Right! (Buzzer)
Right! (Buzzer) Right! (In rapid succession, we have seen more
shots of ZEV's dog, of PAULY and his girlfriends, and of ZARCHIT, who is
working on a sign as she listens. Now the scorekeeper shows that ZEV is
leading, 25 to 0.)
SHUKY (singing to the tune of "How much is that doggy in the window?"):
"I bought Dogli dog food." Bark, bark. How much did I pay?
ZEV pushes his button repeatedly, but nothing happens.
REVY (noticing this, and ringing her bell-which does work): 5.50.
SHUKY: 8.30, but I'll accept the answer. (REVY is ecstatic.) Tricky
question: I bought Bonzo dog food. How much did I save?
Again, ZEV pushes his buzzer but nothing happens. He tries to attract SHUKY's
REVY (again noticing this, and pushing her buzzer): 2 shekels?
SHUKY: 4.50, but I'll accept it.
ZEV's colleagues watch in disbelief. One of them says: No fair. Zev's
buzzer is broken.
SHUKY (after another ringing of REVY's bell): I'll accept it. (Bell.)
I'll accept it. (Bell.) I'll accept it.
HEAVY WOMAN WITH CURLERS (still sitting on her toilet, watching TV):
REVY is even more ecstatic. She is now winning 40 to 25.
SHUKY. Now the tables have turned. (ZEV's dog's head is down, on the
ZEV: My buzzer is broken.
SHUKY: Yeah, sure... (The audience groans.)
SHUKY: But never mind. Whoever wins the next round will win the game and the
grand prize car. (Trumpet flourish as a girl wearing a crown and evening
gown, and perched on the roof of the car, makes extravagant gestures.)
SHUKY: There are two prices across the studio. One is the price of a
toilet bowl brush. (He plops one down in front of each contestant. The HEAVY
WOMAN examines her own, which is identical. ZARCHIT bites her finger nail. ZEV
looks worried.) The first one to punch out the correct price... wins! To
the line. (ZEV and REVY, each holding a toilet bowl brush, step up to the
line.) On your mark. Get set. Go.
ZEV stumbles. We hear his heartbeats. His and REVY's movements during this
part of the scene are all in slow motion. ZARCHIT closes her eyes. ZEV rises
and moves forward. His colleagues are watching. REVY, who has passed him, now
stumbles. PAULY removes his sunglasses. ZEV now advances to the target: two
price signs - 12 and 11.50. ZEV turns back toward the camera and looks, then
faces the price signs again.
REVY (on the ground, moving and speaking in slow motion): Noooooo.
ZEV thinks to himself and remembers, hearing his own and other voices
in a sound montage.
ZEV's voice: Toilet bowl brushes went up yesterday.
CUSTOMER's voice:The price is 11.50.
ZARCHIT's voice: 12 shekels.
CUSTOMER's voice: Trying to rip me off.
ZEV's voice: The price went up.
CUSTOMER's voice: 11.50.
ZEV's voice: No one will know.
ZARCHIT's voice: I know you lied.
ZEV's voice: The price went up.
ZARCHIT's voice: You lied for me.
ZEV's voice: No one will know.
ZEV pushes the toilet brush through the 12 shekel price sign.
SHUKY: Wrong answer.
The heavy customer rises from her toilet bowl which she flushes, and then
sprays an air freshener in her bathroom. ZEV's dog jumps down from the sofa.
REVY, realizing that ZEV has chosen the wrong sign, screams ecstatically, gets
up and runs. ZARCHIT looks down at the sign she has written: "Welcome Champ!"
The show now over, ZEV is in his own clothes again and leaves the
costume he was given on the stand. He walks past SHUKY who is dancing in a ring
with REVY and the scorekeeper, then passes some technicians, and finally the
girl with the crown, sitting on top of the prize car, who says: while massaging
her toes: Will someone get me off this car?
Scene 13: The hall of ZEV's apartment house
ZEV arrives at the door to his apartment, then turns to see PAULY
putting a box of deposit bottles down on the landing.
PAULY (looking up at ZEV): Show biz. (As PAULY smiles, a gold crown on one of
his teeth shines like a star.)
Scene 14: ZEV's apartment
ZEV, dejected, is seated on his sofa, petting his dog, as a paper
plane flies in through the window. He picks it up wearily and answers the
knocking at his door, only to find ZARCHIT there holding up her "Welcome
Champ!" sign. She is wearing an elegant dress and earrings and has her hair
done up attractively.
ZEV (dejectedly): But I lost.
ZARCHIT holds up another sign, turned upside down. When ZEV has trouble
reading it, she turns it right side up. It says: "You'll always be a champ to
ZEV: Very pretty dress... 387 shekels?
ZARCHIT (smiling nervously: 388.
ZEV: You were ripped off.
They both laugh, come closer and finally kiss.
Scene 15: Finale - same set as in ZEV's dream in Scene 9
Dissolve to a continuation of the kiss, only now ZEV and ZARCHIT are
dressed for their own wedding, ZEV in a tuxedo, ZARCHIT wearing a white
crown-like veil and a white wedding gown.
ZARCHIT (singing to ZEV):
Running her hands down the front of his body, she kneels down out of frame,
and ZEV looks at us (at the camera) with a slightly startled look on his face.
The singing continues as the final credits begin.
You could be a star, you know |
On the Shuky Chic Show
Product prices are your thing
With numbers you are surely king
Even though you lost on TV|
You're still no. 1 with me....